Three Faces of Belcher
by EverlastingEvanescence
Summary: The Belcher children as the three faces of Foley. Gene as Dude Love, Louise as Cactus Jack, and Tina as Mankind. Sorry if I got any of the personalities wrong. I wanted to draw these but...I can't draw shit, so writing it was the next best option.


Three Faces of Belcher

There was a figure mumbling to herself, sitting by herself in the back of the restaurant. She had a worn out suit, a mask covering up part of her face, glasses over the mask, black hair, and wore a skirt. She was currently rocking back and forth with her arms wrapped around her knees. This was Tina Belcher. She was the black sheep of everything she did, and spent most of her time by herself. She stood up with a box in her hand, and looked on at the patrons at the restaurant.

"Look at all of them. Those poor fools. They continue to be unaware of their own vanity. They eat their troubles away with my father's delicious burger, not knowing that they are slowly killing each other. They look at me as an outcast. As a freak, and they make sure to let me know it. It is almost a pity. What they do to themselves without even knowing it. Using their façade of perfection as a…" Tina mumbled to herself before she was interrupted.

"Tina, how many times have I told you to stop talking to yourself when we have customers?" her father, Bob, asked her as he was flipping burgers. "Exactly 143 times. But this time, I was not taking to myself. I was talking to my new friend," Tina said as she opened the contents of the box she was holding. Inside, was a rat! Bob jumped back in surprise. "Oh my God! Tina, where the hell did you find that thing?" Bob said quietly. "This is my friend, George. I found him in the attic a week ago, and I have been caring for him ever since," Tina said as she patted George on the head.

Before Bob could respond, she heard a crashing sound. It was her other daughter. She was wearing a brown shirt, and brown pants. On the shirt, she had a picture of her mug shot that she took after she had beaten up her school guidance counselor with a chair. This was Louise Belcher. "YOU CALL THIS A TIP!?" Louise screamed at the people at the table she was waiting at before she brought out a sledgehammer. Louise smashed the sledgehammer on the table, breaking it and scaring the shit out of the people. And judging by the smell that briefly lingered, that may have been a distinct possibility.

"LOUISE! What the hell was that about?" Bob asked, his patience clearly on its last legs. "Those assholes tried to tip me with some change, so I showed the why they should have given me real money!" Louise said as she lifted the sledgehammer in the air in victory. "Louise, if you keep attacking our customers, we're going to get bankrupt," Bob said before he started to hear music. He knew what this meant.

His son, who was wearing tye dye. His shirt was tye dye, the bead necklace he wore around his neck was tye dye, and his pants were tye dye. He was also wearing sunglasses, and danced very badly. He also killed to talk that he was from a 70's sitcom. This was Gene Belcher. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going down here?" Gene said, trying to help the problem. "Louise tried to attack a couple of customers, and they got scared off and ran," Bob said, hoping that his peace loving son could do something about Louise.

Gene then directed his attention to Louise. "Sister, I know that you want to whip some heavy duty booty sometimes, but oooooooooooooooh, have mercy. Attacking people with this thing is a big no-no. You got to let your love escape, and make people feel it. You know what I'm saying?" Gene told Louise. Louise looked at her brother with awe for a second before hitting him in the stomach with a sledgehammer. "No, not really," Louise responded non-chalantly, as though she didn't just possibly severely injure her brother. The impact of Gene falling caused George to fall out of his box and run off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT, LOUISE," Tina shouted as she lunged for Louise. Louise and Tina got into a violent brawl, as Gene laid on the floor in pain. Tina eventually got a barbed wire baseball bat from Louise, while Louise got a piece of wood with a bunch of nails in it. They started to hit each other with those weapons, and since they could both take and dish out extraordinary amounts of pain, Bob knew that this was going to take a while.

 **Two hours later…**

Linda returned from her shopping trip to find the restaurant a wreck. The customers had long since ran away, She saw Louise and Tina a bloodied mess, Bob curled up in a fetal position in the corner, and Gene trying to life everyone's spirit with his music. Linda just put the groceries on the counter and massaged the headache that was forming. "I don't want to know," Linda said before going upstairs.


End file.
